Colored Raindrops
by thoughtpolice
Summary: Junkie Craig has slipped from normality and has driven under, into a world he and Kenny have created. M for drug use and brief sexual content.


I use to…_ lose_ myself in the fields of my dreams.

A space of pure white. Blank. Completely _silent_.

It was nothing. The absence of everything. Yet at the same time, the comfort of my heavy sheets, the wind that seeped through the crack of the broken windows, the scent of burning cigarettes, and the lingering taste of sour mouthwash.

Night was a dark abyss and my dreams were a white light. Dreams that were nothing, that kept me at peace.

_"Craig, wake up!"_

Dreams of nothingness that kept that awful _screech_ just a distance buzz.

_"Craig, come down stairs now! You're going to be late for __school__!"_

Dreams that often ended when she came closer; trudging up those stairs with her awful piercing **voice**.

A painful whistle in my ear.

A **powerful thunderstorm** in my dreams.

_**"CRAIG!"**_

And I was awake.

Barefooted to the bathroom.

Fully dressed to the kitchen.

And the scent of _sizzlin__g _bacon, buttery toast would invade my senses.

* * *

I use to lose track of time

behind the closed doors of the boys bathroom.

Watery tile floors. Crumpled balls of toilet paper. The stench of urine.

And the feeling of his hands _down the waist of my jeans._

**Kenny.**

When my dreams where but a bright light, Kenny reminded me I was the black hole.

His lips, his skin, his _breath_…reminded me I had the ability to feel. To **hurt. Rot**. Grow old.

A **flaw** in my dream.

_"But a great fuck."_

We fit like a puzzle piece.

Bathed in sweat.

Sliding down the stall with our _quivering_ bodies attached, kissing in the afterglow.

I could still hear my name ech_o i __**n g**_ off the walls.

* * *

He kept me awake when the day was still young.

Just the thought of him sufficed.

**His smirk. His laugh. His stare.**

_"How was school?"_

There'd be food on the table. And all I'd think about was how _good_ he felt beneath **me**.

How good it felt to **sin.**

_"Craig, your mother asked you a question."_

The forks would clank against the glass plates. I could hear my sister gulping down her drink. The air felt thin and suddenly everything would be **over** _sensitized._

Blue pills after dinner. Blue pills. _Blue.__**Blue.**_

"I fucked my friend."

The fork would fall with a final clank. And then silence.

A suppressed snicker from my sister. Slacked jaws from my parents.

And a satisfied smirk plastered on my face as the seconds rolled by like minutes and I was sent upstairs; mother's and father's screams just a distorted noise in _**slow motion.**_

* * *

Pure white with a hint of grey. Smoke; almost a mist that rolled out in puffs between his kiss-swollen lips.

And his room smelled like fresh cut roses and sin.

_"Dose number__** one.**__"_

I kissed his neck and felt his skin erupt in** g**o**o**s**e** b**u**m**p**s.

Pills weren't enough. Smoke disappeared_ too quickly._

But,

the **vaccine** was an open door that lead to the ocean.

We banded our arms and sat back to back.

The scent of roses grew** strong**.

_Sting._

A tiny sting and the world fucking changed.

Our skin flushed warmly. And gravity dropped on us like a dead weight.

We laughed with dry mouths.

_We kissed_

_We fucked._

And by night we were sitting on clouds looking down at the bright map of stars.

I** use** to lose myself in the fields of my dreams.

Then nothing became a sea. The pure white became a sky. And the complete silence became the crashing of waves.

I was** awake** and _dreaming._

I was never asleep.

I forgot the sound of silence. I forgot the feeling of being weightless. Empty. _Calm._

I was awake and Kenny kept me that way.

We laid in the fields. Fields that were now covered with sand.

And we listened.

We listened to our breathing.

Our **pulse.**

Our _heart_**beats.**

"Dose number **five**." His voice was a gentle wind; a melody that increased the beat of my heart.

I felt the_ sting_ of the needle and heard the sound of the sea.

_"When does this end?"_

Kenny sighed and curled up against me.

_"When we stop __**breathing.**__"_

….

We lost ourselves until then.


End file.
